Wednesday, June 24, 2015 you will

I've been thinking about this post for a while... it has come in and out of my mind many times, through many different experiences and through conversations I have had, dwelled on, and thought I had moved past. But the time has come where I can't hold it in any longer.

Putting myself out into the world with this blog has made me vulnerable. I have always been a strong willed person, that does not mean that I am always strong. I have always been a bit out spoken, opinionated, but prided myself in the ability to respect others and their sometimes opposing opinions. I assumed others would act in a similar fashion. Alas, this is life, and we are all humans, growing, changing and learning from each other.

I can count on one hand the people I have had issues with, confrontation is not my thing, mostly because I feel I have a personality that is one that can adapt to those around me. I try my hardest to be patient with others, and I recognize that sometimes I fall short of that.

I have entered a new chapter in my life, one that I recognize will change me, hell, it has already began to change me. This brings me to the focal point of this post. I am coming into a place in my life where I am going to be a single parent. Yes, I have the most supportive partner, who I know will stand by my side through it all, but the fact is I will be a 29 year old unmarried woman raising a baby with her best friend. Talk about complicated. I never thought this would be my life, but strangely it feels so in line with who I am. My independence has always pointed to me living this life, preparing me for it & shaping me into the kind of woman who can, and will take on anything that it thrown at her. I know this will be the hardest and most rewarding experience I will ever endure. With that said, I realize that being independent has not only enhanced who I am but has also hindered my ability to trust some people. This is something I know I will be learning more and more as Baby comes. I am grateful for the support and love that has been shown by so, so many of you! This little babe that I have been entrusted to raise and love is the most important thing to me. Negativity or disappointment is not something I will accept in the development of this perfect infant.

Nesting, is known to be something women do to prepare for the coming of their lil babe. It is usually characteristic of cleaning out the old and creating a healthy clean environment for the new comer. I am in a position where I feel a form of nesting is necessary. There are habits, and humans that I have let be a part of my world who, frankly, are not conducive to a healthy mental environment for me and my growing babe. I have chosen to take a step back from those things and those people to accept more positivity and love in my life.

I hope with this choice I will be able to recognize the healthy, loving people who will continue to support me in my big life change. Thank you for embarking on this adventure with me & for your continued support.

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  1. Loved this Tara! You have such a great outlook on everything. I can tell you that I totally relate to the nesting aspect and not just with my home, but relationships! You are spot on. It is like having a child makes you realize all the extra unnecessary things, and people you have been dealing with. I feel amazing cleaning up my life and I feel happier than I have in years!

  2. You are amazing and i'm so excited for you! You will be the best Mom!!!

  3. This was beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing. Just another example of what a strong woman you are and the j credit mommy you will be! xo my friend!