Saturday, January 2, 2016

Livin That Mommy Life

Hey there people!! Well, I have officially been a mom for 7 weeks! Sooooo insane! It feels like I have been hanging out with my little Quincy forever, but yet again it feels like I just found out I was pregnant! What a weird feeling! Well, I wanted to share my 7 week wisdom with those mom friends who need a little love or those pregnant pals who aren't sure what to expect. Here it is... it is neither right nor wrong, it's just what I have learned in my 7 weeks of motherhood. And in true Tara fashion its the truth straight up. Take it or leave it!

- No baby is the same. So and so's kid was sleeping through the night at 2 week? Well that's awesome for them, my baby woke up every two hours for a few weeks and then gave me 2 blissful nights of 7 hour stretches, and then went to waking up every four hours, to waking up every three, to putting her self to bed, to waking up for no reason at random times. Your baby is YOUR baby, and your baby is it's own person. Unlike any other. It's okay if you baby isn't doing what other babies are doing, as long as their development is on track there is no right or wrong.

- Google can be your best friend, or your worst enemy. I think we all know this to be true in every facet of life, but where being a concerned mom comes into play Google makes it real. The things I have googled about not only my baby, but my ever changing postpartum body... holy.. lets just say I've cleared my search history multiple times because of embarrassment. Use Google with a grain of salt people & do not take one search for an answer. If you're really unsure about something or Google has you fearing for the worst... just call your mom, or your mom friends.

- Babies cry. WHAT? Who knew? It's okay to let your baby cry so you can pee, or take a 5 minute shower, or put pants on! Your baby isn't going to grow up resenting you because she cried for a bit while you put your life together. About 5 days into being a mom Mimi said this to me and it legit changed my world, "Just because the baby is crying doesn't mean you have to pick her up every time." EXCUSE ME? I DON'T?! I couldn't fathom letting Quincy crying for more than 10 seconds & felt like I was being a bad mom if I didn't comfort her immediately. I learned quickly that she did survive when she cried for a bit here and there. I mean hell, she is 6 weeks old and still going strong, and heaven above can that girl scream & cry.

- Using formula does not make you a bad mom. In fact, it may save your life, and your sanity. At least it did for me. I, like many have read the amazing benefits of breast feeding your baby. During my pregnancy the ability to breast feed was one of my biggest worries, would I produce milk? Would she latch? Well homegirl latched right out the get & my milk came in within 4-5 days of having her! So obviously I thought my feeding life would be set... boy was I wrong. Within a few weeks I had a screaming inconsolable baby. I would nurse her & change her & swaddle her and shhhhh her & nothing helped. Apparently my beast of a baby was starving & I wasn't producing rich enough milk. I swallowed my pride & made a bottle of formula for my babe one night when she was about 3.5 weeks & holy hell, my life CHANGED! I had a baby who slept for more than 2 hours at a time & who immediately had a different disposition. Formula was my manna from heaven & although my pride took a hit realizing I wasn't giving my baby everything I could from my body, my sanity was restored & my relationship with my baby got 100000 times better. Formula is your friend.

- If you aren't obssesively infatuated with your baby from day one you aren't alone. You hear moms all the time say, "omg i am so in love with my baby" like 20 minutes after they have them... guess what? I wasn't. Is that bad to admit? Well, it's the truth. Like hi, I know you've been chillin in my belly for like 10 months, but we just met, maybe lets get to know each other before professing our undying love for each other. Ooooookay? Do not get me wrong people, I felt a connection to my baby, I was immediately protective and would destroy anyone who even considered harming her & I loved her because how can you not have affection a human being that belongs to you? But the undying, obsessive, can't function because your baby is the center of your world feeling just wasn't there for me at first. That has since changed & I leave my baby for like 4-6 hours when I am at work, or she is having a play day with Daddy & I am losing my sh*t over how much I miss her. & sometimes I look at her perfect little face & I am so overwhelmed with the feels that I just ball my face off. But it's okay if it takes you a second to warm to your little one. It took me a few weeks tbh. Now if you're feeling completely detached & withdrawn from your babe (which I had a few episodes of that myself) chances are it's postpartum depression/ baby blues, and if it doesn't subside or come in ebs and flows talk to someone about how you're feeling. Your baby needs a healthy minded momma.

- The most important thing you can do in the first few weeks of your mommyhood is feel like you. Whatever that means for you, DO IT! For me, it meant going back to work 2.5 weeks after I had my baby. Everyone thought I was crazy for it, but I feel most like myself when I am working. So it was exactly what I needed. I am blessed to have a limited work schedule where I can only work a few hours every couple of days, but those hours away where I am able to do something that I know I ROCK at, that keeps me sane & makes me a good mommy. I also make sure that even on days I don't work I look good, so I feel good. I do my hair or make up (both if I am feeling ambitious) & get dressed everyday. This may seem like a lofty goal, or this may seem vain, but it makes me feel like a human. So it works for me. Find what makes you feel like you & do it, it'll make you a happier human, and in turn a happier momma. Trust me.

- Babies don't need a lot of stuff, YOU do. I swear I am buying Quincy something new like weekly that seems completely necessary to the enrichment of her life.. but really, these things just make my life more convenient. Here are my go to baby things that have simplified my world, but really could I live without them? Yeah, sure. Do I want to? Nah. Do you need them? I mean do you want more convenience in your life?

More adventures in Mommy Land to come! Until then, I hope you are all enjoying your New Year & don't you worry, I have some New Year's resolutions coming your way.... once the confetti clears from everyone else's declarations. Until next time. MUAH!  photo signature_zps6bbf95b9.jpg

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